For your eyes only

used to wonder

I recently read this quote and it really hit me.  (Deutsche Version hier clicken)

When I am around a new set of people, a new job.  I become quite consumed with the thought “What are others thinking of me?”  And so it was no different for me when I started at the Prayer House.  For years this was my constant working modus:  How am I impacting others – What is my effect on them.  Am I impressing others?  Do they like me?  This may be true and important for a sales or leadership job, but this frame of mind simply does not work when you pray.

In the prayer room these questions are a battle I desperately want to overcome.  For how can I be in prayer focusing on God and be more concerned of what impression I am making on the others in the room? …   Is it good that I raised my hands? , Did they think my prayer was good – should I kneel now?   I caught myself in this frame of mind and it was keeping me from truly encountering the King of Kings.

How much of my prayers are more for the ears of others around me than really for the one I am praying to?  How often are my actions more for their eyes instead of His?  Who am I looking at when I am praying? If I want to really be in prayer my heart cannot be in two places at the same time.

The saying I read gripped me at the proper time as I started at the Prayer House.  Now when I go into the prayer room and open the door I often say under my breath “for You”.  The same when I go into a meeting room full of people I try to ask myself that question “Do you love them” – instead of “what do they think of me”.  This instantly changes my perspective from fear to love.

In prayer it is not about impressing others but about loving the One.

God, I want to be someone who prays “For your eyes only”!


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