I’ve experienced Prayer lately as the place where my worlds clash. I’ve had this happen to me several times these past weeks during my time in the prayer house in Augsburg. The business of my heart crashes into the wall of prayer. Do you know this feeling?
Prayer in all its „uselessness“, otherness, strangeness, unproductiveness – clashes with the values of this world – with the values of my heart.
My time in the prayer House in Augsburg is structured in a way so that 25 hours of my week are spent in the prayer room praying. The remaining 17 hours are work hours. Slowly but surely my work hours are getting filled with larger projects and long To-Do lists. As head of the Prayer House Shop there are a lot of new things we are tackling as the ministry of the Prayer House begins to reach even more people. Due to my background in Human Resources I have also been given additional tasks that will structurally change some things for the organization. All of this gets me excited and pumped with new ideas – full of things to do. Then on top of that I have realized that there are a lot of things I want to do differently in my role as husband and father at home…oh! and then there things that need to get fixed, the car tires that need to get changed, … more To-Do Lists.
Last week I had one of those „clashing-Moments“. I came extra early to my desk at work (I love early mornings!) and had two hours of real productive work before my prayer-shift started. I was on a roll: tackling emails, finishing a PowerPoint presentation for the leaders, Mindmaping and finalizing a template. Then 8 o’clock came around – my time to start prayer for the next 4 hours. I was furious!!! What an interruption to my productivity. What a waste of time…
I walked up those steps to the prayer room with fear and grumbling. Do you know the feeling? When the business of life screams for attention and it seams so counter-productive to be still and pray.
One thing I have learned these past weeks, when I enter God’s presence, is to keep giving Jesus my „yes“ – no matter how I feel. And so this is what I did – I let God know how I was feeling and yet told him to do what he wants to with this time. It took some time for my busy thoughts to calm down – but then once again the beauty of his presence gloriously put everything into perspective. The great eternal realities crashed into my little business setting my priorities into the proper order again.
And so I am glad for this daily challenge that we all face! The clash of these worlds takes place every time we refuse to let the business of life be our slave driver and set our eyes on the loving Son who calls us His brothers and sisters saying: „My yoke is light“
In such busy times I have to always think of the book title from Bill Hybles:
„Too busy NOT to pray.“