For my Birthday I was given a trial flight with a Paraglider. I still have yet to go and so I have been thinking about it – wondering how it will feel to run off a cliff and hope that I won’t fall off the mountain. It actually is a good picture of what I am experiencing right now in my heart. Just before I run off the mountain I will have to put all my trust in the parachute that it will actually carry my weight and will land me at the bottom of the hill safely. All the thinking and the head knowledge about the Parachute will be put on the line in that moment. In that moment knowing that others have made it before me won’t really matter. My question will be – “will it hold ME?”. As my feet leave the ground and I only see the depths below: It will be all or nothing!
Likewise Inka and I have talked a lot about God’s provision in the past years- we’ve heard a lot of stories from others – read a lot of books – but to truly step out and test it? That is a new dimension. When God called me to leave my well paid, secure job to become a prayer house missionary in Augsburg– did He also consider coming through for us? Will God’s wings support us? Will our feet hit new land?
„No Test = No Testimony“. When I read this statement from Mark Batterson a month ago it really shook me up. I must face a test in order to get a testimony! Far too often I have chosen to stay safe to not truly put my full weight into his promises. But when I do this – I miss out! What a thrill to realize the chute will indeed hold me. How deep my longing is for God to get the glory – to be a testimony of what He has done.
Likewise when I face a temptation (which is just another word for test) my normal reaction is to cringe – to duck – to close my eyes and hope it will pass. When I do this – I miss out! No test = No testimony. This test/temptation is there so that God will get the glory in me relying on him to get me through to the other side. When I rest in his promises – God get’s the glory! This truth is completely transforming my view of temptation in my life. I don’t want to any longer duck away. In wisdom and understanding I want to take up my sword, shoulder my shield, close the visor and step out! It is all or nothing.
But then there are also times when we face suffering. Hardship hits us or we are in a desert time where all seams dry and tough. These too are tests. Believe me I’ve been there. And I have cried out to God to finally get me through these trials. I admit I often wish for it to finally be over is greater than my desire for him to get the glory in and through it. So I desperately need a change in the way I view such moments. In it all he is to get the glory.
“Let them see that this is your doing, that you yourself have done it, Lord.” Psalm 109:27